Some post I came acroos on the Internet. Veeery nice.
The Guys’ Rules
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down and we can get their side of the story- I must admit, it’s pretty good.
Since this came from an email, I cannot very certainly tell who the author is but the mind is male, no disputing. And so goes the bitter pill. (annotations, my own)
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers. ( We learnt that a long time ago. We just get tired of repeating things over and over and hope you will just read our minds)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (May be this is where carrying our cross comes in. )
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. ( So long as you see it elsewhere and leave the DVD player all to us and the girls)
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. (We can make a compromise- pay for the shopping and you can go watch football while we shop)
1. Crying is blackmail. (At least something has to make things work)
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (But promise you will not say we are nagging)
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. (Are you sure? Whatever you say can and will be used against you)
1…………… Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. (No disputing that, but we will not guarantee your solution will be used)
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor. ( Ever heard of preventive cures?)
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. (it will have to take more to delete that from our memory)
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. (you bet)
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. (?)
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (Cook can also be done during commercials)
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. (ever heard of the joke about the Israelites going round the desert for forty years because Moses couldn’t ask for directions?)
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. ( we had quite figured that out).
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. (Ouuh!)
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. (Now we know)
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. (Really?)
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, cars, the shotgun formation, or football.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! (You bet)
1. Sex in the morning is a good way of saying “ I love you”.
1……………. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
And that is the way the cookie crumbles. The list could have been added- I know the men are already adding entries- and the ladies are huffing, but that enough said. I already have enough enemies.
